Oh, man

I am this ( ) fucking close to driving to the store to buy cigarettes.  I REALLY don't want to do it though, because I actually don't want a whole pack.  Don't put it past me to eye the half smoked ones outside in the ashtray.  Pretty gross....especially when I think of the small kingdom of cockroaches that live outside on the porch.  Their nightly marches are somewhat horrifying, and usually have me dancing some sort of irish jig or russian kicking dance. 

I definitley smoked some at practice last night, but this is allowed, as the rule is band practice and drinking = kosher.  Any other time = no go.  You CAN'T smoke and be a massage therapist, or work in any type of health care office.  Just doesn't jive.  Trying trying trying, but oooh it's hard.  No smoking during the daylight hours since Friday.  Mom, aren't you proud?  Surprising is I haven't been stuffing my face all day.  Haven't left the house except for short errand either.  Just sending out resume/writing cover letters and very little appetite.  Maybe that's to do with the 3 cups of coffee.  Mmmm....coffee and cigarettes.  Hmph.